Where Is Shame Held in the Body? A Somatic Approach to Healing
- Jen Meller
- Mar 16
- 3 min read
Updated: Mar 20
I know shame intimately. It used to settle deep in my chest like a weight I couldn’t shake. Other times, it felt like a knot in my stomach or a lump in my throat—just sitting there, unseen but always present. If you’re here, maybe you know that feeling too.
Shame is more than an emotion—it’s an experience that lives in the body. If you’ve ever felt heavy, constricted, or small after a painful memory surfaces, your body is telling you something important. And that’s what we’re here to explore—how shame shows up physically and how we can begin to release it with gentle, somatic awareness.
What we will cover in this blog:
Understanding the Nature of Shame
Shame is different from guilt. Guilt says, I did something bad. Shame whispers, I am bad. It’s the feeling that keeps us from showing up fully, from speaking our truth, from trusting ourselves. It can come from early childhood experiences, cultural conditioning, or past traumas that taught us it wasn’t safe to be who we are.
When we carry shame, our nervous system responds by either shutting us down (freeze) or making us want to hide (flight). By doing this, our body is trying to protect us, but over time, this protective mechanism can keep us stuck.
Where Shame Lives in the Body
The body has its own language, and shame often speaks through physical sensation. While everyone’s experience is different, there are some common places where shame tends to settle:
Chest – A sense of constriction or heaviness, as if something is pressing down on you.
Stomach – A tight knot or nausea, the body’s way of bracing against something painful.
Throat – A lump, a tightening, the unspoken words that never felt safe to share.
Shoulders – A sense of carrying something too heavy, a burden we weren’t meant to bear.
Sometimes, the sensations are subtle. Other times, they’re overwhelming. Either way, your body isn’t betraying you—it’s showing you where your attention is needed.
Somatic Approaches to Releasing Shame
The beauty of somatic work is that we don’t have to think our way out of shame—we can feel our way through it. Here are a few gentle practices to begin loosening shame’s grip:
1. Body Awareness & Connection to the Present
Start by noticing your body. Right now, as you read this, can you feel your feet on the floor? The weight of your body in the chair? Bringing awareness to these small details helps remind your body that you are safe in this moment.
2. Breathwork to Soften the Body’s Response
Shame often makes us hold our breath or breathe shallowly. Try this: take a slow inhalation through your nose, feeling your belly expand. Hold for a moment, then exhale slowly, as if sighing out something you no longer need. Repeat a few times and notice if your body shifts, even just a little.
3. Gentle Movement to Release Tension
Shame can make us want to curl inward, to make ourselves small. See what happens if instead of freezing you slowly stretch your arms overhead, roll your shoulders back, or sway side to side. Movement doesn’t have to be big to be powerful—it just needs to be intentional.
4. Bringing Curiosity to Sensations
Instead of pushing discomfort away, what if you got curious about it? If there’s tightness in your chest, what happens if you place a hand there? If your throat feels constricted, can you hum softly? These small acts of attention tell your body: I’m listening. You matter.
Integrating Somatic Awareness into Daily Life
Healing shame isn’t about “fixing” ourselves—it’s about meeting ourselves with more kindness. Some days, that might look like breathwork or movement. Other days, it’s simply pausing to notice how your body feels. Whatever it looks like for you, trust that your body knows the way forward.
A Gentle Reminder
You are not broken. The shame you feel is not who you are—it’s something your body has carried, often for a long time. And just as it was learned, it can be unlearned. Your body is wise, and it is always communicating with you. As you learn to listen, you may find that healing is not about doing more, but about being with yourself in a new way.
If this resonates with you, take a deep breath. You’re already on your way.
